The Ferret Story

The weather was so wonderful in NY this weekend! Thanks god too, because I am seriously sick of the cold. As a result, The Boy and I were overcome with laziness and spent the entire weekend doing close to nothing, which was sooo perfect. Saturday afternoon, after hitting up my pilates class, we took the dog for a nice long walk around the neighborhood. I really enjoy these walks together. Since we moved out of the city, we really haven't been doing it much anymore. He gets home from work earlier than me and is done with dog walking by the time I get home. I suppose the cold winter also played a part in the lack of walking, but this weekend I realized how much I missed it. During the walk, we passed the building The Boy lived in when I first met him and we started to reminisce. Apparently the first thing he noticed about me was my 34D's haha. The first thing I noticed about him was his smile and accompanying dimples. Anywho, TB suggested that I share the story of the first time I spent the night with him. It realy makes us laugh, so I thought I would.

The Boy lived in a 4th floor studio of a walk-up building (great for building buns of steel BTW). The building was full of interesting tenants. There was a guy on the 2nd floor who, when on his coke binges, would do push ups on the stairs for hours on end. There was also the frequently heard, but never seen person that slept (and snored!) on the stairs between the 4th floor and the roof. The first time I stepped foot in the apartment, I was shocked by how clean it was, but more so by his lack of a TV. I mean, no TV??? I had no idea one could survive without a TV. Wasn't I partially raised by a TV? All these thoughts of a world with no TV started swirling in my head and I think I almost puked on his wood floors. But I digress.......

Some time passes and I am growing more comfortable with hanging out in an apartment with no TV. We are filling our time with talking, making out, laughing, making out, board games, making out, movies on my laptop (yeah, I really couldn't survive without ANY form of electronic visuals.) One night, making out finally progressed to the fun stuff..wooo hoo..... and I ended up spending the night. Might I add that once we finally were doing the deed, the need for a TV was so far gone that I almost forgot what it was. ha! As is most people's experience, the morning after our first night together was a little awkward. You know the list of things that are flying through your head as you realize you just woke up somewhere other than home. Do I have terrible morning breath? Oh no, what does my hair look like? Did I drool all over his pillow!? Anyway, I make a quick escape to the bathroom to freshen up. I come back out feeling just about as confident as one can get in this situation and crawl back into bed, only to catch a glance at the clock and realize that I have to be at work in 25 minutes....and work is a 20 minute ride from here. Crap!! I don't even have my ridiculously stupid manager uniform (which is a horribly ugly polo with the company logo)!! To get home to the city and then back will make me AT LEAST 45 minutes late for work. The Boy comes up with the idea that I wear his uniform. I weigh my options and grab his shirt. I throw it on, put on my company hat (equally as ugly as the shirt) and head to the door. I should take this opportunity to mention that I am 5'8" and TB is 6'2" so in essence, I was wearing a company night gown. We say our goodbyes and I head out the door.

On my way down the first flight of stairs I hear a strange scratching sound. I shrug is off, figuring the person sleeping in the stairwell has an itch. As I round the 3rd floor landing and take my first steps down it is made all too clear what the scratching noise was. I am now staring at a ferret that, until now, was making it's way up the stairs. The ferret is staring at me equally confused and then proceeds up the stairs. I panic and as any chicken would do, run back up the stairs. As I run, I turn back and realize that the ferret is gaining on me. Ahhh. What will it do once he catches me!? I get back up to The Boy's door and start pounding on it like a crazy person. "TB open the door, hurry!!!! Open the door. PLEASE!!!" Just as the ferret was closing in on the final stairs to me feet, TB opens the door. I push him out of the way and slam it shut, just as the evil little ferret hit the landing. I turn to TB, back up against the door, and realize he has no idea what is going on. Out of breath, I begin to explain but am interrupted by scratching. That crazy thing was scratching at the door to get me!!! At this point, The Boy is a crumpled mass on the floor, laughing so hard I thought he might pass out. Not funny!!! I have to get to work. After a minute or two of scratching on one end and laughing on the other, I give up and slide down the door to await my escape. About 15 minutes later we took a peek out the door and saw the ferret across the hall so I made a dash for it.

I was only about 30 minutes late for work, but I get the sneaking suspicion they didn't believe me when I told them I was hunted by a ferret and thus, trapped in the apartment.