Mercury Retrograde is a bitch.

The three things bothering me right now are kind of all intertwined in some way, but I will list them separately so I can keep my head on straight.

1. I can't register for school. I was trying out two different programs before submitting an application because i wanted to be sure I made the best decision. Turns out I should have tried this program last semester because they don't offer any of the pre-reqs in the spring. Now I cannot apply to this program until next year moving back my start time until Fall 2010. In the meantime, I decided to apply to the program I was in last semester. It's shorter and I can probably have my Masters before the Fall 10 start of the other program...which I think I will prefer. At least I won't be wasting time just sitting around waiting.

Another thing about school that is bothering me is the cost. My job covers a few classes a year, but I cannot be in school part time with that little bit of money. I am just recently out of debt for the first time in my life and I really don't want to take out student loans. The most frustrating part is that when I decided to go back, it was after talking to The Boy and having him tell me not to worry about tuition because we'd be married soon enough. Because he works there, I'd get tuition remission. Free graduate school is a big deal. So I started the ball rolling and now this is what I'm hearing from him when I bring up tuition.....take out loans or get a job at the school or go to a different cheaper school. And in my head as he is saying those things I'm hearing....because I have no intention of marrying you, you're on your own, don't count on me. I'm pretty livid.

2. My grandpa is not doing so well. We assume he has Alzheimer's. We don't know for sure because he refuses to see a doctor. He was on all sorts of medications for high blood pressure and other similar things, but when my aunt passed away 2.5 years ago, he stopped taking everything stating "if medicine didn't help my daughter, why should it help me." He can barely walk and doesn't remember too much. He has been slowly deteriorating for a few years now, but recently it has gotten much worse. He actually hasn't been out of bed in over a week. My family is just expecting the worst any day now and I'm so very sad. Even when you expect it, it's not any easier.

3. I get a phone call from my mom last night filling me in on Grandpa's condition. When I got home, I told TB who basically just said "oh." Now I know it's not his grandfather, but what a cold remark. I figured he was just being douchey because of the argument we had earlier in the day regarding everything I wrote about in reason one. I sit down to watch American Idol and they are playing Wonderful World in the background which just pushed me to my breaking point and I end up crying like a baby. So he looks at me and says "the dog is going to need to go out", basically implying that I need to take the dog out. I paused the TV and stormed off to my room to change my clothes, still crying, when it hits me that there is no way I am going out like this. I stormed back into the living room and tore him a new one. You walk the dog...you are acting like a complete asshole....how dare you be so insensitive to me.... things of that nature. He says "oh you're crying about your grandfather, I didn't know. Sorry." Are you kidding me!? I told him I didn't realize I needed to be crying about a dying family member in order to get a little respect. I mean seriously, whatever has me upset should be enough to warrant a little compassion. Instead he was worried about not taking out the dog. I was so heated. I still am so angry. And now he is just acting like there is nothing wrong. Trying to sweet talk me. Please. His behavior shocked and disturbed me to the core. He has never acted that way EVER. And I shouldn't let him off easy right?