I went to look at an apartment last night. It was in the same building I currently live in, but a studio. It was a big studio though. Really nice. Things haven't really come to that yet, but I feel like it's important to have a plan. I also spoke to one of the leasing people to see how they usually deal with these types of situations. After all of that, it kind of hit me that this really may be my reality one day.
The Boy still has no idea what he wants. Everything was still going on as normal until the other day when I put a stop to it. It's just not fair to me for him to behave like that when he is still contemplating leaving. I'm sure that he has an idea of which way he is leaning and I told him that if it's leaving then he should just do it now and save me the heartache. I mean really, what is the point of playing happy house for a few more months just so he can crush my spirit at the end of it all.
He never wants to talk about the situation, which makes it more difficult. He says that it's just too much to think about. I say that you're the only reason we're thinking about this, so why don't you get a handle on it! I've managed to bring up some stuff, like our SHARED LEASED car and our leased two bedroom apartment. He says that if it comes to a split, he will continue to pay for his half of the car and apartment. I mean okay, the apartment I get. The lease is up in March, but the car? I don't know how I feel about that. We have 2 more years on that lease. That seems like an awful long time when you think of it under these terms. Yet, I think it would be a struggle to afford it on my own.
And then to top it all off, he is still behaving like everything is sunshine and roses. Just the other night we were talking about the two different Audi's we like and he made a comment about how we better seriously get saving if we're gonna be buying them in two years and how his can be the family car since it will be bigger. Fantasy or not, it's still as if he's planning a future. Our future. Yet he cannot say the words, I'm not going anywhere. Or when we're watching House Hunters on HGTV and I say "wow, i never thought Wisconsin would look so nice." and he replies "Jade, I am not living in Wisconsin so don't even think about it." Um, well if you are not around how would that even be possible? Not that I have any interest in Wisconsin, but you know what I mean.
I'm sorry to be babbling on about this so much lately. It has seems to consume such a large part of my life at the moment. Plus, I value all your opinions so much.
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I'm a city girl finding her way through the inevitable end of her twenties and into what others refer to as "grown up" life.
10 comments:
I think he definitely needs to have a "shit or get off the pot" moment...
leaving it hanging like that is seriously not cool.
I agree with Liam....he needs to figure it out fast b/c it's not fair to you....
I'm a big fan of the R8....and then I found out it was Ironman's car!! ;D
I agree that he shouldn't leave you hanging. I honestly don't know how to make him make a decision without giving an ultimatem and I honestly don't think that would be best in this instance.
All I can say is that actions can speak louder than words and even though he says he's unsure when talking/thinking about the future, when he ISN'T knowingly thinking about that he acts as though your future is a for sure.
If this works out, your relationship will get stronger with time. I hope for your benefit that it does work out, somehow. You obviously really care about him and your relationship or you would have been gone already.
I think it may be time to make the decisions. I know you don't want to end it but is this the type of relationship you want to be in.
I just feel like you are compromising on your ideals. If you make a decision such as getting your own apt, it might give you some space to figure out what you want.
As for the leased car, I would look into the fine print about that. Can one person relinquish, buy out, etc?
Oh, girl. I am so sorry.
Drinks on Monday with Sloane?? We have the NKOTB concert, so lets do dins and drinks before hand:)
((((HUGS!!))))
5:30ish? 6 the latest?
I am really speechless about this whole situation.
On one hand, I feel like you should be the one to end it, because it seems like he doesn't have the balls to and just wants to keep you on your toes.
On the other hand, it seems like he is just super confused and wanted to test the waters to see if you felt the same.
Definitely have a plan in mind. Aunt Wendy has always advocated having a F-U fund for situations like this, and being able to walk away with some sort of dignity.
I wish I could say something more that would help, but I truly am at a loss. :(
I am totally at a loss. I dated a guy who was always so nice to me and would kindly dump me every so often. So bizarre!
I am really sorry and I agree with Penny. I think it is time for you to stop waiting for him to decide how your life is going to play out. You can still be open to allowing him into your life, but I think that getting a studio is a great idea. You need space to protect yourself and your heart. He needs space to see if he misses you or not.
I think it is a good idea to be prepared for something to happen.
He can't let this hang. He needs to come to a decision, or you need to it for him. There is no sense for this to drag on.
((Hugs))
I almost feel like you should think about moving into another place. Even just month to month deal. To sort out thoughts and feelings.
My ex went through a time where he wanted to break up while we were living together so I moved back in with my parents to put some space between us and let us gather our thoughts and it worked, for about a year and a half, until I pulled the plug for good.
It seems to me like he's scared, and if you became very serious very fast he might just be backing away to get a perspective, so if you're not ready to just leave you might want to back away and give him and yourself space.
I'm really sorry this is happening to you I know it sucks. *hugs*
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