Okay guys I need to vent. I'm not sure it will make much sense, but please bear (bare?) with me. Something is up with The Boy and I'm starting to get worried. I have been noticing changes for the past month or so, but thought perhaps I was just crazy so I didn't want to say it out loud, but I am now pretty sure I am not imagining things. I guess I should start from the beginning.
After we came home from Jamaica everything was great. We were enjoying our free time before he started school again and just being happy. I'm not sure how long after that, I started to feel like maybe he was pulling away. You know, I don't even know how to explain it. He's just started being less warm or something. Not too much romance...although I know I have been slacking too. Just over all very blah. Of course, I asked. Is everything okay? Do you have something on your mind? Are you happy? Always the same answers...I'm fine....Nothing is wrong. For the record, those answers were delivered in the most dry, unconvincing tone. But still, I thought perhaps I was just being paranoid. So I left it be.
Now a few weeks ago, I mentioned that the women from the 2 places we have on hold for our imaginary wedding will be contacting me soon and I want to make sure we have a story so I don't look like an ass. I have to admit, it was kind of a feeler question. He said we would work on something at home that night. A week passes and nothing. I know I shouldn't have, but I bring it up again. I mean we are weeks short of 1 year away from this date! I'm sure they will be on my case any day now. He says to use the excuse I used last time (broken legs from the acident) but I've already used that excuse with one of the places. He says just to tell them we are postponing and let that be it. They don't need to know the truth. This is true, but more importantly it means he has no intention of asking me to marry him.
Another thing...The Boy works for the university we both are attending. He is in one Grad school and I am in another. He gets free tuition for himself and eventually will have free tuition for his spouse and children if he stays that long. When I decided to go back to school, there was much talk about how I would pay for it. My company reimburses my tuition up to a certain amount a year, so this semester and next semester are covered, but after that I'll be out of money. Initially, he was all "don't worry about it, you'll be covered in the fall 09." Which kind of implied, to me at least, that we'd perhaps be married by then. Recently he has started suggesting I look into loans and aid to cover my remaining years of schooling. This to me is a big red flag. Am I just being crazy?
These are just 2 of the many things I have noticed. He comes home now and says hello like he could care less to see me. Granted, I'm not running to the door like a puppy dog either, but I don't even think he kissed me hello yesterday. We used to sleep close together and now our backs are turned and we are on opposite sides of the bed. These things could just be the result of our time spent together, but it just doesn't feel right. I could also just be reading into everything far too much. But the truth is, I feel it in my gut. Something is wrong.
All I know is that a lot is riding on this weekend away. I think I will be devestated if he behaves this way continually throughout the weekend. I mean this is our 4 year anniversary after all! I need the closeness, the hand holding. I need to feel the love. Where are you love???? Geez, I am feeling so blue.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
I'm a city girl finding her way through the inevitable end of her twenties and into what others refer to as "grown up" life.
10 comments:
Awww.....Jade:( Hugs....
Oh boy, all those red flags are not a good thing. I hear where you are coming from about the wedding thing. But maybe he is just stressed out about things and he just needs a little space.
Maybe you are feeling the pressure also and reacting.
Maybe he is trying to throw you off the scent for this weekend.
There are a lot of different variables going on here. I know it sucks but wait out the weekend and see what happens.
Relationships are a lot of work! You know that:) And it is the trying times like these that make it stronger.
Wait out the weekend and then decide about the wedding stuff and tution. He pulls that same shit again, oh girl.....let's cross that bridge when we get there.
Feel better!
Thanks Penny. Truth is, I think I'm less upset about the wedding thing and more about the worry that he may be condering leaving all together. I mean maybe that's a little over dramatic, but that's how my damn mind works.
My fingers are crossed for a really nice weekend.
*hugs*
Wait out the weekend and see where things are. You should have a clearer view after that happens
Sometimes it is so easy to read into things and be completely off the mark. Obviously there is concern for worry, but it may not be for the same reason YOU think. Maybe there is something else in his life (work, family...??) that he is taking out on his personal life.
Go this weekend and completely forget about everything. If you relax, he'll be able to sense it and relax too. Sometimes in a relationship people play off each others feelings. You are worried because he is acting different, which makes you act different, which worries him, etc, etc.
Try to enjoy your weekend away with him. Do something fun and spontaneous! After the weekend is over, if things are still setting off red flags, talk to him about it. I know I know, guys don't LIKE to talk about their feelings...but he needs to know about how you are feeling and he needs to be able to make you feel better.
Ill be sending good thoughts your way this weekend!
I agree with the others. Wait out the weekend.
but yet I don't wanna be a downer and I'm sorry if it sounds like this. But I waved red flags a lot for the last few months about how unhappy I was too.
I'm not saying that's the case here because he could just be covering for something bigger (like nerves or problems with school or something). Guys aren't like us they clam up and push people away when their stressed
so my fingers are crossed that that's it. I'll be sending you good vibes
Red flags are never a good thing, but maybe a great thing is on its way? I'm using my Libraness to bring the optimism to the situation and think that your trip away with help you guys to re-connect.
Hugs and you know where I am.
hm. I would leave it through the weekend, and see if anything changes. If not, I suggest you sit him down and say "we need to talk, something isn't right and we need to sort it out. What's up"
you need to approach him on this.. stat.
How did the weekend go?? I need an update??
Hope you were able to have the most bestest weekend!
Post a Comment